Pratap Naik’s interesting marriage picture of old of his parents Basilia and Edwin Carvalho
On Mother’s Day (May 9) many people remember their mother and pay a tribute to them. This is one touching tribute recounted by PRATAP NAIK, SJ
MAY 23 was my late mama’s birthday. If she was alive, she would have completed 91 years. She passed away due to cardiac arrest on November 1, 2004. Today I would like to share with you, an anecdote to do with my mother’s life.
My mama was a loveable lady but a disciplined person. Whenever we did wrong things or didn’t listen to her, she immediately punished us with a stick. She believed and practiced the proverb, “Spare the rod and spoil the child.” In those days most parents, teachers, priests and nuns believed, “If you do not punish children when they do something wrong, they will not learn what is right and they go astray.” Corporal punishment was part of our life. The fear of punishment helped children to grow in discipline.
Mama could not tolerate back answers from anyone of us. My sister Genevieve when she was very young had the bad habit of answering back. For this bad habit, she always got punishment from mama. I must have been in Std 5 and Genevieve in Std 4. When mama told Genevieve to do something she answered back. Mama got angry and hit her with a stick. By mistake the stick hit Genevieve on the head and blood started to ooze.
Mama tried to stop the blood with her herbal medicine. But blood kept oozing. Mama placed a folded kerchief on the wound and she asked me to take Genevieve to nearby Dr Srikanthayya (he was only a compounder, but everybody called him doctor). With my right hand pressing the kerchief and holding Genevieve with the left hand, I led her to Dr Srikanthayya’s clinic. He was from Mysore and living in our village in a rented house. He always spoke the Mysore Kannada softly and gently. Since we were living near his clinic, he knew us.
When we reached his clinic he was reading an English daily. Hesitantly I entered his clinic. Seeing us he asked, “What happened to your sister?” I told him she got hurt and the blood is still oozing. He immediately attended to my sister. As he was doing the dressing, he asked me, “How she got a wound on her head? Did she fell down?” I could not him tell the truth, though my mama taught us always to speak the truth.
To save mama’s reputation and honor I immediately answered, “Doctor, it was due to my mistake. She wanted a tender mango to eat from our tree. She pleaded with me to pluck. They were on a height on the tree. I threw stones to pluck them. One stone hit back and fell on her head. I am sorry doctor.”
Instead of scolding me, he gently advised me saying, “Child, it is dangerous to throw stones at trees. In future if you need a mango, ask your mother. She will pluck them with the help of a stick.” I promptly said, “Yes dotor, I will do as you have advised me.”
We came back home with a small bandage on Genevieve’s head and carrying the tablets given by the doctor. Mama asked me, “What did Dr Srikanthayya say to you?” I narrated her the whole story which I had told the doctor. Mama didn’t utter a single word. But from her smiling expression I knew that she was pleased and appreciated me for having saved her reputation and honor!
Today from heaven she must be smiling at me as I recount and share with you this anecdote. But the question still remains unanswered. If I had spoken the truth, Dr Srikanthayya, who respected my mother, would have got a negative attitude about her. Did I do the right thing by telling a lie to save mama’s reputation? Were there other ways to save her reputation without telling a lie?
I have attached here mama’s photo with her typical smile. It was taken on the Golden Jubilee of her wedding on January3, 1996 while she was sitting in the courtyard of our home at Nayakwadi of Kundapura Taluka, Udupi district.
(Pratap Naik SJ is a Jesuit priest from Goa, he was director of Thomas Stephen Kendra – TSKK, a research Institute working on issues with Konkani language, literature, culture and education)